After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
