winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
