listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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