He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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