Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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