he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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