I want to make a zoo with you.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
