I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
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