Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
