Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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