It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
