she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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