so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
