who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
