Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
