make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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