I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
