can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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