he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
