I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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