I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
