I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I need help removing her.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
