Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
