He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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