I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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