May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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