Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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