White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
