I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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