I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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