My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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