The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
