I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
