All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
