so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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