So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
