I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
