you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
