but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
