4 words: hood of his car
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
