Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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