I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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