i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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