i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
