hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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