i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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