I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Of course I have a pirate flag
sex in a hospital.. check
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
