Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
