so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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