By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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