the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
