I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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