I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
