He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
