You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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