TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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