3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
