This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
