If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
