my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
