that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
