My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
