Sacagawea was the original milf.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
