smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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