I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
third nipple confirmed
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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