I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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