Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize